Tuesday, December 4, 2012
One Thing I HATE About Being a Libra - Pt II
So I've been down this road before. In more than one way. In a way that sometimes I hate being a Libra. In another, that I have a big fucking mouth. Sorry for the profanity, but that is the only way I can convey my message at this point. You know before when I was torn over when I should speak my feelings and when I should shut up? I guess I haven't really learned anything since then, because I am still struggling with this decision.
I recently had a little rant on Twitter that maybe I shouldn't have. I didn't name names but I guess some people are good detectives (oh you got that subtlety?) and pieced together the information then proceeded to relay that message to my whole entire family. Great. Drama has ensued. Family drama. The worst KIND of drama. I had my wrists slapped 5 ways till Sunday. I get it. Twitter is NOT the place to let your ranting take fury and unleash itself into cyber space. Sometimes I feel like I just can not help it though. I struggle with anxiety and probably some other mental issues at times. In those times I feel like I just need to let my emotions go. Twitter was my method. It's hard to understand unless you struggle with the same issues. Maybe it's mental, maybe it's because I am a Libra.
I have this overwhelming feeling of always having to do the right thing. Not let people get away with the bad things they do. Restore order. Justice. It's the scales....it's my sign. I love that about me, I hate that about me. It's one thing I hate about being a Libra.
That's not the end of my big mouth shenanigans. I guess I'm just on a roll this month. It does seem to be a common theme. Perhaps I should read into my horoscope and see if there is cause for this. I recently spent some time with a friend I have not seen in a long time. We have been friends for years. Close friends for about 6 or 7 years to be exact. The type of friend that moves to the other side of the world and you don't lose touch with. We spent a few days together and it was apparent that wow, my friend has really changed, and not in the "oh what a fun new you!" kind of way. Totally consumed with money, fame, and of course we can't forget the most important part - himself. He spent the entire weekend talking about himself, his new country, and how he spends alllll his lovely money. It was not only annoying, but exhausting. I realized this relationship had become totally one sided. When he asked me how much I pay to "rent" my farm, that was the final straw. I looked at him and said, "Buddy, I bought my farm. I own it, not rent. 6 months ago." He just looked at me all confused..."oh, how did ya manage that?". UGGHHH yes because you are the only person on the planet with a paycheck! Apparently you have not heard a word I have said after all these months. Anyways, moving on with the story.
I left our reunion feeling bitter and disappointed. He asked me before I left if I thought he changed and I lied to him. I told him he was the same. I was annoyed. I left my farm and family for the weekend for this? No, no no. I sent him a message on Facebook...I told him that I lied....and that he had changed.
Then my big Libra mouth couldn't leave it at that and had to outline it for him in exactly what ways he had changed and what a major douche he has become. I feel bad, I know I hurt him with my words. At the same time, I will be completely honest and tell you he has really turned into a pompas ass. I am not just saying this. I feel like his only hope for ever finding a woman to spend his life with is to change his attitude. It became instantly clear to me why women who seemed so happy with him for the first few months were suddenly just leaving. I wanted to give him a wake up call. My big mouthtook care of that for me.
He deleted me off Facebook after receiving my message. I guess it's warranted, but really. We have been friends for 7 years!! I was not even bitchy. I don't think I deserve to be shut out completely. I know some people really do not want to hear the truth. It is one thing I have really learned in my young adult years. That is part of being an adult though. You want to tell me I'm a bitchy know it all? Go for it...I can take it. At least I know you are a true friend.
I guess the point of this post is just to admit that I know at times I have a big mouth. I mean technically, I am ranting my big mouth as we speak. I don't ever mean to hurt people with what I say, but I just can't sit by and watch people get used, hurt, or become assholes who will never find happiness. It is the Libra in me that drives me to find balance and justice. It is the Libra me in that makes me blab my opinion. At least for now, that's what I am blaming it on. Just another thing I hate about being a Libra.
Thanks for reading! ♥